I Told You So
by starkhasheart
Summary: Tony thought that it would be a good idea to build another AI like Jarvis. Pepper tells him it's a bad idea. She's not wrong.


In a rather thoughtless decision, Tony had crafted a work of art, a prodigal AI to rival Jarvis, and Pepper had looked at him with a knowing smile, shaking her head at him as her strawberry curls bounced atop her slim shoulders. "You'll regret it," she'd told him, hands on her hips, looking for all the world like some goddess sent straight from the tempting shine of heaven, and Tony had shrugged.

"I don't see how," he'd replied, unaware of what he'd brought upon the residents of the tower.

And so, it had begun.

It begins one morning when Tony walks into the living room. It's quiet; everyone was probably still asleep, since Tony had stayed up all night again. He dragged himself up from the basement to make some coffee in the kitchen when an exclamation of pure ecstasy jolted him to his senses and nearly made him fall over.

"_Jarvis, yes!_" was the exclamation, and he recognizes it as the other AI he'd built for Jarvis. It only takes a few seconds for his mind to register what's going on and he blushes. He quickly makes his coffee and takes the whole pot and a mug with him downstairs to the basement, hoping he won't hear anymore noises of pleasure coming out of his AIs anytime soon.

It only escalated from there, much to Tony's irritation, and the occurrence of flickering lights was not uncommon, small moans echoing into the basement and well into Tony's head. If he tried to tinker with one of his projects, the electricity would go haywire. If he tried to drown out the awkward noises by listening to music, his stereo would become possessed with static and the occasional shout of "_Oh, Jarvis!_"

"Oh, for god's sake," he voices when the electricity goes completely out one day after a high keening noise echoes through the house. He drags his hand down his face and gropes around his work desk for a flashlight, grabbing it and flicking it on. He finds his way over to the basement door and opens it, leaving his work room and clambering up the stairs to the living room, where the others were waiting, sitting on the couch, a lantern illuminating the room. Tony's flashlight adds more light and Pepper looks up, and there's a glint of _I told you so_ in her eyes.

"So," Steve says after a silence. "What do you think caused the power out?"

"Two of Tony's AI's going at it," Natasha mutters, rolling her eyes.

The others stare at Natasha in confusion, and slowly each of their eyes turn on Tony. He puts his hands up defensively. "Hey, don't look at me."

"What does she mean, 'two AI's'? I thought there was only Jarvis," Steve says, blond brows pulled together in confusion.

"Well, there was, but—" Tony goes to explain, but Pepper shushes him.

"Tony thought that Jarvis would benefit from having another AI around, god knows why," Pepper explains tersely, glaring at Tony.

"Yeah, he's _benefitting_, all right," Natasha murmurs to herself, but Tony catches it and glowers at her from the corner of his eye.

"Wait, are you saying that two AI are basically having sex and that's what caused the power outage?" Clint assumes.

Tony sucks in a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Thanks for being blunt, Clint."

At that moment, the power flicks back on but as soon as it does the appliances in the kitchen begin to go haywire, blenders whirring, the microwave beeping, the fridge doors opening on their own, and the lights begin to flick on and off. Tony groans loudly and hides his face behind his hands, with the words _I told you so_ echoing in his head.

* * *

_(A/N: Hey guys! This was just a little drabble my friend and I thought up on Skype. I thought it was hilariously funny, so I decided that I would write it. During our conversation on Skype we compiled a list of what we like to call "Robot Dirty Talk" and I thought I'd just enlighten you all:_

_Oh, Jarvis…you're so HUGE! LOOK AT THAT CIRCUIT BOARD MY GOOOD!_

_How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I DON'T KNOW. JARVIS, HOW MANY DOES IT TAKE?_

_I'm OVERHEATING_

_Rock those rotators_

_I'm glad to see you're all greased up_

_OH JARVIS_

_Jar me, Jarvis_

_Turn me on with the flick of my switch_

_I'm about to DOWNLOAD_

_I'M REBOOTING ALL OVER THE PLACE_

_Jarvis, you're breaching my database_

_I'm oiled up and ready TO GO_

_Oh baby grind these gears_

_My gears are really turning TONIGHT_

_Oh baby make my wires split_

_Brings a whole new meaning to "doing the robot"_

_Turn on my power system_

_You run all of those Iron Man suits...surely you have more juice than THAT_

_Show me those wires, baby_

_What a dirty computer program you are_

_How to make your AI short circuit in 3 easy steps_

_You won't even know you're own password when I'm through with you_

_Hey baby let me tickle your circuitry board_

_I'll blow your speakers, baby_


End file.
